Friday, May 1, 2015

The Story of Pilar.

  There is so much I can say about Pilar.  I really should jot down more of the crazy stuff she says.  Even though she is a suspected android, she can be funny.
When she is not recharging, or galavanting around the country saving whales, beaches, or babies she spends time with me as my translator and Spanish teacher and assistant editor.  
  I should mention that she has a PHD in linguistics. I don’t know how many times I am going to have to sit through a lecture on verbs in the Spanish language.  So you can imagine she is a hoot to talk with about languages.  If you want to know about the simplistic syllabic language of the Anglo-Saxons an how the French gave the poor morons of ancient Britain their multi-syllabic words, she’s the one to talk with.  Mark my words. I will get an hour long lecture on ending that last sentence with, with!
  I believe she might even have multiple degrees so I am observing her for the effects of the “Kyle Conundrum.”
Despite being smart she is also very naive.  When we go out to eat she likes to order from the menu.  For most of the known world the menu would be just that “the menu.”  Here in Chile the Menu is what is on special.
Time and time again I have witnessed Pilar and Francisco order from “the menu” only to be disappointed by what they received.  Whenever Francisco starts singing happy birthday to his meal, you know he thinks it is old and no good. (see post from yesterday Fruto del Mar).  Yesterday they were going on and on about the age of the Jello they each received for their desert.  Having reached a point where I could take it no more I finally broke the bad news to them.
“You guys do know why these things are the special don’t you?”
I am answered with vacant stares. “Because it’s old food they are trying to get rid of.”
“You have just ruined lunch for me for the rest of my life.” Pilar declared.  Francisco just shrugged and ate the rest of his jello. The faint hum of happy birthday emanating from him in between spoonfuls.
I have known Pilar now for almost six years now through the internet.  We hadn’t even finished post production of Bloodmoney when she contacted me asking for a Spanish version and trying to get me to come to Chile to show the film.
According to local legend she has been telling people that I am coming to Chile for sometime now.  Like the boy who cried wolf they stopped believing her.  This last time when the plan was finally coming to fruition she was running around Santiago telling everyone.  “He is coming, he is coming.  The American is coming.”  According to Pilar Revere, she was the crazy woman running around town telling everyone about some fictional American director that was finally coming to Chile.
She wants to be paid since I use her in various stories.  Instead I will just recommend her book on Amazon.  Like most of what she tells me I have no idea what she is talking about, perhaps because it is in Spanish.  Buy it anyway, maybe I will get a lunch out of it.ónicas-enrudecimiento-ebook/dp/B00MLSC1LA/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1430490875&sr=1-1

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