Sunday, February 7, 2010

The Kyle Conundrum

There is a theory called the "Kyle Conundrum" hereafter referred to as KC, named after common sense theorist David Kyle. At its simplest the KC can be broken down into three primary components.

The first states that a good majority of individuals with many years of formal education and then spend additional time in academia lack common sense, and therefore will invariably come up with an idea that is completely idiotic. It has yet to be determined if they lacked common sense when they began their long academic career or it was in some way leeched out of them from the toxic liberal environment they inhabited.

The second part states that many people who hear these idiotic theories will believe them because of the credentials attached to the individuals proposing the BS.

The third principle suggests that the vast majority of people don't even hear about these absurd theories even with the Internet, which is an open forum for stupidity, nor do they care as it has nothing to do with real life.

A more in-depth explanation of the KC is as follows. It has been firmly established through observation that KC does in fact exists and perhaps is expanding at an accelerating rate proportional to the number of degrees handed out at universities around the world. There has yet to be a correlation shown that individuals with multiple degrees are more likely to state theories publically or quietly keep them to themselves for fear of ridicule by their peers.

Kyle theorizes that the brain cells of these individuals have tiny pockets in them. Voids where common sense should, or used to reside. Whether the common sense was sucked out by some at present unknown force, or it simply left on its on volition because it could no longer tolerate the environment is unknown at this time and needs further study.

Kyle also further theorizes that the voids created by the lack of common sense emit what he calls the stupidity particle. These particles circulate in the brains like free radicals never leaving the confines of the noggin they inhabit. However, as they build up they will reach critical mass at some point and overcome any natural inhibition the individual may have about submitting a stupid theory to a peer-reviewed publication.

While at present there is no device capable of measuring the stupidity particle phenomenon, the after effects of it reaching critical mass can be seen from time to time in stupid theories being made public. Kyle believes that it is more common than is revealed to the public and such theories are circulated around the scientific community. As they gain adherents to them they gather what is known as peer reviewed mass until they are eventually ejected out into an unsuspecting public.

How do we determine what theories fall into the KC? Some are known immediately, like Physicists trying to convince the world that the Bumble Bee cannot fly. Anyone with even a shred of common sense that had observed a bumble bee flying would know immediately that this was outright stupidity.

Another example of KC can be seen in Global Warming theory that took hold briefly, but is finally beginning to unravel. Everyone with common sense knew that it was hogwash, yet the so called "best and brightest" of the world stated emphatically that man was heating up the world and it was only a matter of time before we were all doomed.

There are of course many examples that demonstrate KC but will never be proven false or at least not in the lifetime of the individual making the wild claim. Examples of these are the Big Bang, Black Holes, life grew on earth on the backs of crystals, and that we live in a Holographic World.